Life

I think I'm done with LiveJournal. I just... There's no drama, nothing. It's not like that; I just don't really post here anymore. I don't feel like sharing my life in this manner, so... Yeah. Posts will be extremely rare. I'm keeping the account merely to read my friends list.

Not only did I do well on that talk-to-the-industry-professionals, I got complimented on how well I delivered my project. I DID FUCKING AWESOME, YEAH!

I go before industry professionals today.

I think I'll have my freakouts over lunch. That sounds good.

This is 100% true, especially right now.

I've been quiet about the situation in Tibet for awhile now. It's such a horrible, violent time for both the Tibetans and Chinese citizenry. One side is finally sick and tired of playing non-violence while being oppressed and treated like less than human beings. The other is caught between state doctrine and personal fears about the changing political climate. It's all very sad.

My sympathies are largely with the Tibetans. Who could stand fifty years of this bullshit? The British treated Indians with at least some moral and ethical dignity. Democratic roots in the British Empire gave them the very idea of treating even subjugated peoples with decency and granted them rights. But the Chinese, who went from Emperors and warlords into the totalitarian communist regime learned no such grants of dignity. It is only through economic necessity that an area like Hong Kong even has its autonomous rights. Otherwise it might well be swallowed up by mainland policies instead.

I don't hate the Chinese people, and even the government has had its great leaders. Everyone mourns Chou En-lai, that great man of compassion. He was the mollifying, velvet hand that stayed the slings and arrows of the Red Guard and, with Deng's help, destroyed the Gang of Four. But where are such people today? It seems the communist regime is full of nothing but lackeys and sycophants. It's disgusting. No one is even willing to talk about compromise, compassion, or basic dialogue with the Tibetans. It's just this horrid show of force, coercion, and hatred.

China really is 1984 people. Think about the 'Ministry of Love' -- You dare not love anyone but the Party, on pain of torture and even death. Funny how the Chinese government is called the 'Party'.

Tenzin Gyatso, I pray for your people and their happiness. Freedom may not be possible yet, but they deserve better than this.

1. My username is ______ because ______.
Hidoshi, because it's the name I've been using for the last ten or so years online. It started as a typo of either Hiroshi or Hitoshi when I was naming a PnP character for a roleplay, and it just kinda stuck.

2. My name is ______ because ______.
Mark Perseus. Mark because it corresponds with the Apostle of Fire and I'm a fire sign, and Perseus because my Grandparents wanted me to have a heroic name, and Perseus was a good one.

3. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
Life and other strange beliefs, because I often feel like that's exactly what life is.

4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
Angels in their own right, because I feel everyone has divine goodness in them.

5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.
Alpha from Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou (YKK), after she nearly blew up her scooter. I think it's a cute yet serene moment, exemplifying being calm despite hard work and mild disaster. ^^

Yup, I'm 25 today.

I should punch Ian and Matt in their faces for this.

Every, fucking, time I read CTRL+ALT+DEL, I want to take the creator and beat the living shit out of him. I don't get where this comic became popular.

That's what I'm going to do this summer. I'm going to re-draw every fucking CAD comic that gets posted with better timing and less text.






Well, maybe at least one comic. >_>

These are the days when I just want to be loved, to be cared for. When I feel like I've struggled enough, and when my body is in too much pain to be of use to anyone. If I can't be of service as I am, I would at least like someone to hold me and help me get better. Not tell me that I'm sick, and they're afraid to be around me, or to merely wish me better and do nothing to aid that.

Perhaps it sounds selfish, but it hurts to look at lights right now. My head rings and my chest aches, and all I can really do is type out a complaint. I can think, but nothing gets put down on paper. Even laying down, all I can do is cough and groan.

I don't know what's happening anymore. I seem to be alienating everyone, either by making the wrong comments at the wrong time, saying something the wrong way, or just having bad timing in general. I dunno WHAT it is, but it feels like there's something wrong with me.

Nyargh.

For once in my life I'm going to say this: It's the internets people, grow up.

This is just LiveJournal. It isn't access to public drinking water or restrictions of religious rights. It's a fuckin' online service. Boycotting it is silly.

Teh end.

Arthur C. Clark, my favourite author of science fiction, has passed away at the ripe old age of 90. Rest in peace, Mr. Clark, I'll always treasure your work.

Okay so. I seriously have no more time to do anything. For the next month, I am withdrawing from human society to live in the cave that is my room. There is so much left to do and so little time, various parts of me are freaking out at different times. Right now, I think my left leg is having a conniption fit because my brain just can't handle another one.

Love you all.

I think I actually detest the idea of Facebook. I know how convenient it is and how well it works, but I have a severe problem with all these content management systems being so "do everything". I don't know WHAT Facebook is for, outside of general events and crap. I literally only use Facebook for events and little else. Groups mean very little, as does my wall. I have MSN and e-mail, why do I need the damned wall? Beyond that, I understand it's good for finding old friends and all, so I can appreciate that function... But the rest? Big deal.

There's a lot about Facebook that makes me want to say "fuck it" and leave. I just don't like bloatware, which is what Facebook has become. There's way too many applications and features that are just plain useless. I'm not the kind of person who enjoys having that many time-wasters.

I have LiveJournal for personal ranting, my blog for anime ranting, and MSN/AIM for messaging. I more or less only want Facebook to be two things: A friend finder, and an event planner. That's IT.

Remember that there always is
Someone with more to do
That has so much on their mind
And suffers more than you

Remember that there's always been
Someone who needs your help
Whose lot in life has been so bad
Deprived of all their wealth

Remember too when you have cried
And craved to be held firm
By stronger arms than you possess
That enabled you to learn

-----------------------

Short poem I wrote, not for any particular purpose but as something of a reminder to myself. I suppose it could stand to help others too.

Before I begin this little ditty of mine I'm almost certain I'm going to get flak from about 80% of you over it. That's fine, but before you start posting spammalicious amounts of hatemail and comments my way, pause to think about my general stance on humanity. If you don't know what it is, it's that I generally feel tolerant, perhaps even accepting of most everything this planet has to offer. Evolution, dinosaurs, God, gods, multiple religions, philosophies, and yes, even atheism. I've come to terms with ethical atheism as a path I don't particularly advocate nor like but in some individuals at least I can understand it.
( Long rant about compassion and all that hippie bullshit. )

Well, most of my bedroom/workspace has been flooded downstairs. At first we thought it was just a minor leak from all the melting that's been going on, so we had the chemdry guys come in and lift up the carpet, put on the dryers, etc. I go down there today and guess what? There's /more/ water. WAY more. The flooding has spread halfway across the room and after checking in the furnace room (which is right next to my bedroom), I'm pretty sure the water main has a pretty major leak in it.

Now we need to get a plumber on top of it all and we won't have water for at least a day or two. What really irks me about this is that it also means I have nowhere to work unless I go to school for like the next bloody week. Don't get me wrong, working at school is fine, but NOT ALL THE TIME. I need to be able to work at home, or at least somewhere outside of the classroom. What's more is, I can't be commuting to Oakville every damned day. I already do that on a regular basis, so dealing with more of it is going to be really f*cking stressful.

I mean, it's probably only a week or so, but I hate the very notion of having nowhere to work unless I trek it out to school. Nyar... I think I might stay with someone closer to Sheridan for at least a couple of days. Just to get things rolling. >_

I find it rather perplexing that people think I subscribe to a "Republican" point of view. I put that in big danger-quotes because I'm a Canadian and therefore not really prone to being "Republican" on the whole. It's hard to discern where exactly the lay of Canadian politics is because our Conservatives are bit more liberal than one might think and our Liberals are a bit more conservative than on might think. But that's the merry little clusterfuck that so happens to be part of Canadian politics.

Confusion of parties notwithstanding, I'm a Conservative voter (or was) for only one reason: I'm tired of being screwed over by the same Liberal dickery year after year after year. Conservatives have their own special brand of dickwaddery that screws you but at least it's a change from fourteen years of the same blasted "thing".

Now someone will propose I vote NDP or Green, and someone else will laugh. The reason I refuse to vote NDP is because they're a bunch of the biggest amateurs you could have when it comes to Canadian politics. The NDP has no leadership experience in its ranks, Jack Layton is a giant lying douchebag (they all are, but he's actually in denial more than the rest), and it's far too pro-unions for my taste. I have nothing against unions but they don't need a bloody political party behind them, all right?

As for voting Green, my major issue with that is that honest politics become dishonest politics via popularity. The fact is that Green looks like the good guy now but it's only a matter of time before they become cockswallowing fuckholes like the Conservatives and Liberals, only they'll legalise marijuana in the meantime, something I'm extremely against. I like the message Green has and I think they should have more of a share in how the nation functions, but I'm not sure I want them as federal leaders. As much as people distrust Stephen Harper I'm not sure he's doing such a bad job, and really that's what we as Canadians really want, isn't it? Someone who isn't fucking up every second of the day, only every other second, because we've had enough of the Liberals doing the former.

I'm not a Conservative proper however. If anything I'm an ethical liberal in my day to day life. You can't get away with being my friend and a rampant potsmoker at the same time, it just doesn't work that way. But on the other hand I'm not about to tell you that you need to believe in the economy and big business and all that sort of thing because I'm not really behind the whole "let's be corporate assholes" thing. I'm a moderate and I stand by that because any other stance is laced with equally large portions of ignorance and dicksucking.

I've resolved to be friendlier. Not to people I don't like by the way (this is NOT in fact your opportunity to buddy-buddy up with me again), but just as a general fact. I'm still likely to be the same asshole who caterwauls on about his opinions like they matter in the grand scheme of things anyway, but I'll attempt to be nicer about it. It's no small secret that I regard myself as a sort of social enigma, swinging somewhere between generally amicable and completely bloody paranoid that you're going to rape me, steal my wallet, and leave me for dead on some distant planet you sick, twisted, pile of fuck.

But see? That's not very nice of me. In all seriousness I tend to be reserved largely because I'm afraid of offending people in their own sensibilities. In a delightful bit of irony however, a part of my brain flipped over today that said "well fuck their sensibilities, be friendly anyway even if you're about as obnoxious as nitric acid up someone's rectum" and promptly made my resolution for the New Year.

Oh and there's something in there about getting more work done too. Yeah.

Hey, I got a haircut.

...And hey, politics in general.

Maybe I'm just going crazy, but part of me feels like politics have become little more than a spectator sport. I know, someone's bound to say "hasn't it always been like that"? But no, it hasn't. I'm not even going to cite historical precedent, I've been around for enough elections both in Canada and the US to know it hasn't been. Hyperbolic proponents of parodical apathy tend to take the stance that things only get worse or stay the same, and that anyone who talks about the "good old days" is crazy or feeding off nostalgia. But I have no nostalgia about politics. All I know is that it's become less about the actual issues and more about catering to a television audience. We might as well put cameras all around Parliament or the Senate and call it a reality TV show.

And no, it isn't funny.